Letterman on Retirement

“Here’s what I have learned.  If you retire to spend more time with your family, check with your family first.”

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With tongue only partially in cheek, Dave is still dispensing his unique brand of observation and wit.  He could pass for a learned Rebbe, a Sufi scholar, or a slightly crabby hermit these days, though I see him more as symbolic of those of our generation who’ve torn up the blueprint for retirement.

These days I find myself drawn to a Tallis that’s a bit different than the one in which I was formerly enveloped.  Raymond Tallis to be precise, a retired physician and clinical neuroscientist who has been writing full-time for the past eleven years.  Despite the fact that I am still working now as many hours in the practice I owned for 32 years as I did when I paid the bills, people wish we well in “retirement” because they’ve heard that we sold the practice.  Though my circumstances may have changed, I am far from retired in any conventional sense of the word.  I confess however to a bit of Tallis envy.

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A Kid’s Kind of Day

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Minor Entertainment

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Had been looking forward to taking in a Lakewood Blue Claws game, the “A” level affiliate of the Philadelphia Phillies, who are more competitive than their major league counterparts.  Aside from putting a better comparative product on the field, there’s the family entertainment.  Take for example Irish Heritage night, though we got there too late to be among the first 1500 fans to get the free green Irish special edition cap.  I think I know why they may have run out.

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Was looking forward to seeing the Phillies heralded pitching prospect, the recently turned 19 year-old Sixto Sanchez, but he bumped up to the high A level in Clearwater.  Oh well, Mickey Moniak would surely be worth a look.  After all, the Phillies used the #1 overall pick in the draft last year to nab Moniak.  I couldn’t figure out Mickey’s stats were so pedestrian in basic A, but after watching him his struggles at the plate and in the field attest to a young ballplayer riddled with doubt and uncertainty.  Baseball can be a humbling game, and hopefully it isn’t an omen that when I typed in “Moniak” in the subject line of my email, Apple auto-converted it to “Minimal”!

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Oh well … good think there’s always face painting and other family entertainment to take your mind off a tough game.  It’s almost enough to tempt us to go back for Beer Yoga Day at the Ballpark!

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Archimedes was a famous Greek polymath, well-mown for his discovery of the relation between the surface and volume of a sphere and its circumscribing cylinder.  The Blue Claws don’t have an Archimedes, but they do have Arquimedes Gamboa whose name gives him an edge.  This is in contrast with other names that don’t exactly inspire confidence.

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There were a few height mismatches at the ballpark, one between the BlueClaws manager who wasn’t able to see eye-to-eye with the home plate umpire.

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Another mismatch was the gentleman in the seat in front of me.  Funny how when I purchased the tickets online, there was no mention that my seat behind on the first base side, a few rows above the Blue Claws dugout, came with an obstructed view!

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But, all in all, a beautiful evening to be out at FirstEnergy Park!

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High Jinks at Jenks

The Florida Press crew is up for five days, enjoying the games of skill and chance on the boardwalk, the sun and sand at Martell’s, and of course the rides at Jenkinson’s!

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Let There Be Laughter

Thanks to my favorite comedic expert, Dr. Irwin Suchoff, for sharing this batch.

UNDERCOVER

Moishe Goldberg was heading out of the Synagogue one day, and as
always Rabbi Mendel was standing at the door, shaking hands as the
Congregation departed. The rabbi grabbed Moishe by the hand, pulled
him aside and whispered these words at him: “You need to join the Army
of God!”

Moishe replied: “I’m already in the Army of God, Rabbi.”

The rabbi questioned: “Then how come I don’t see you except for Rosh
Hashanah and Yom Kippur?”

Moishe whispered back: “I’m in the secret service.”

Secret Service

 

IT HAPPENED IN SHUL

Rabbi approaches a guest in Shul and says, “I’d like to give you an
Aliyah. What is your name?”

The man answers, “Esther ben Moshe.”

The Rabbi says, “No, I need YOUR name.”

“It’s Esther ben Moshe,” the man says.

“How can that be your name?” asks the Rabbi.

The man answers, “I’ve been having financial problems, so everything
now is in my wife’s name.”

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MIRACLE CURE

Doctor Bloom, who was known for miraculous cures for arthritis, had a
waiting-room full of people when a little old lady, completely bent
over in half, shuffled in slowly, leaning on her cane. When her turn
came, she went into the doctor’s office, and emerged within half an
hour walking completely erect, with her head held high.

A woman in the waiting room who had seen all this walked up to the
little old lady and said,”It’s a miracle! You walked in bent in half
and now you’re walking erect. What did that doctor do?”

She answered, “Miracle, shmiracle. . . he gave me a longer cane.”

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THE DIFFERENCES

The Italian says, “I’m thirsty. I must have wine.”

The Frenchman says, “I’m thirsty. I must have cognac.”

The Russian says, “I’m thirsty. I must have vodka.”

The German says, “I’m thirsty. I must have beer.”

The Mexican says, “I’m thirsty. I must have tequila.”

The Jewish man says, “I’m thirsty. I must have diabetes.”

Thirsty

PHILANTHROPY

A visitor to Israel attended a recital and concert at the Muscovite
Auditorium. He was quite impressed with the architecture and the
acoustics. He inquired of the tour guide, “Is this magnificent
auditorium named after Chaim Moscovitz, the famous Talmudic scholar?”

“No,” replied the guide. “It is named after Sam Moscovitz, the writer.”

“Never heard of him,” said the visitor. “What did he write?”

“A check,” replied the guide.

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ROWING TEAM

Yeshiva University decided to field a rowing team. Unfortunately, they
lose race after race. Even though they practice and practice for hours
every day, they never manage to come in any better than dead last.
Finally, the team decides to send Morris Fishbein, its captain, to spy
on Harvard, the perennial championship team. So Morris schlepps off to
Cambridge, Mass., and hides in the bushes next to the Charles River,
where he carefully watches the Harvard team at its daily practice.
After a week, Morris returns to Yeshiva. “Well, I figured out their
secret,” he announces.

“What? Tell us! Tell us!” his teammates shout.

“We should have only one guy yelling. The other eight should row.”

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CHANUKAH STAMPS

A woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Chanukah cards.
She says to the clerk “May I have 50 Chanukah stamps please.”

“What denomination?” says the clerk.The woman says, “Oy vey … my
God, has it come to this? Okay, give me six orthodox, twelve
conservative and thirty-two reform!”

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THE CITIZENSHIP TEST

Saul Epstein was taking an oral exam in his English as a Second
Language class. He was asked to spell “cultivate,” and he spelled it
correctly. He was then asked to use the word in a sentence, and, with
a big smile, responded: “Last vinter on a very cold day, I vas
vaiting for a bus, but it vas too cultivate, so I took the subvay
home.”

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Weekend Scenes from the Shore

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A word of explanation here.  The heron above, being very skittish takes off in flight as soon as I hover over the deck for a photo op — but this time I caught him in mid-air, with the lake still enough to capture his mirror-image from the under-side.

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And of course, a Martell’s Tiki Bar interlude, with magnificent skies …

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And back to the Lake House view …

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Cumulonimbus Clouds Transitioning Nimbly to Sunset

On some days the skies over Point Pleasant Beach toggle between ominous and majestic, as they have over this July 4th weekend.  Hope you’re having a wonderful one wherever you are.

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